Learning to love "the others."

Last night I was driving home from my mom's house and as I was sitting at a red light a guy pulling a wagon of soda cans was walking on the sidewalk. He looked a little rough around the edges and parts of the area my mom lives in can be "sketchy." I laid my hand over the lock button in my car. And I accidentally made eye contact with this man... I could see the hurt in his eyes. The longing of wanting to be financially stable enough that he wasn't turning in soda cans for money. That he was tired of getting glares from people. And suddenly my heart was hit. I took my hand off the lock. I didn't lock my doors. I mentally said to myself, "How dare you? You don't lnow anything about this man. You have absolutely no right to judge him."

He continued on his way and my light turned green. We departed ways and will probably never see each other again. But I couldn't get the expression in his eyes out of my head.

The gears in my head started to turn. I started to think about how every single person has a story to tell. How everyone had their own heartaches and traumas.

How there is a stigma on almost every person in some way, shape, or form. Prisioners, mental health, race, religion, sex, class, where you live, who your family is, where you have come from, where you are. Stigmas have become part of our every day lives. So much so that I had a preconceived notions about who this guy pulling the wagon was. I don't know him. I don't know anything about him. Heck, I don't even know his name. And for a split second, I judged him. And it was wrong of me.

It made me think about a quote I read in Brené Brown's book, "I Thought It Was Just Me..."

"...We are 'those people.' The truth is... we are the others. Most of us are one paycheck, one divorce, one drug-addicted kid, one mental health diagnosis, one serious illness, one sexual assault, one drinking binge, one night of unprotected sex, or one affair away from being "those people"-- the ones we don't trust, the ones we pity, the ones we don't let our children play with, the ones bad things happen to, the ones we don't want living next door... every single one of us is someone else's other"

We are all someone else's other. We are all an "other" because we are all different. We all face different things in life. We all have different values. We all have different ways of coping and dealing with things. We all have a different way of doing life. And since we are all different, we are always going to be someone else's "other." And since we are all an "other," shouldn't we be slower to judge? Shouldn't we take a step back and see "our others" as a people?

It's important to humble ourselves and break down the stigmas we hold and those we see in society.

A criminal charge does not mean "gang." A mental health diagnosis does not mean "crazy." Black does not mean "bad." Mexican does not mean "illegal immigrant." White does not mean "better." Christian does not mean "prude." Muslim does not mean "terrorist." Lower class does not mean "poor." Homeless does not mean "dangerous." Woman does not mean "inferior." Man does not mean "superior." Rape does not mean "damaged goods." Rape does not mean "asked for." Abuse does not mean "victim." Abuse does not mean "broken." Welfare does not mean "drug addict." SNAP (food stamps) does not mean "dead beat." Unemployment does not mean "lazy."

We are all just trying to do our best. And when we remember that we are all someone's "other" we are able to come beside one another and help each other through the hard stuff. Our patience will grow. We will be happier. We will slowly break down the stigmas. We will learn to love more and judge less.

We are all an "other."